We fight constantly and I am thinking of separation: talk to an astrologer before you decide
When a married couple fights all the time and one of you is weighing separation, the first questions are safety, children and whether you have both tried counselling; a chart reading comes beside them.
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We have been married nine years with two kids. We fight every single day now and I keep thinking about separation. Does my chart say I should leave?
Your chart cannot make that choice for you. First, are you safe at home? Then share both birth details if you can, and I will read your Moons, Mars and the periods you are both in.
Short answer
Constant fights in a marriage are a serious reason to think, but not, alone, a reason that settles a separation. Safety comes first: if there is hitting or threats, call 112 or 181 6. Then ask whether you have both tried counselling, which helps most where distress is highest 3. An astrologer can read both Moons, Mars and your dashas for the strain 1. On Kismo, verified Vedic astrologers read both charts by chat or call, online from anywhere.
What are the key facts about constant fights, thinking of separating?
| Answer | |
|---|---|
| Who this is for | Married people who fight almost every day and are thinking about separation or divorce |
| Other names | Roz ke jhagde, ghar mein kalesh, always fighting with husband or wife |
| First question | Is anyone afraid or hurt? Then 112, 181 or a lawyer come before any reading |
| What an astrologer checks | Both Moons for the mind, Mars for temper, the 12th house and both running dashas |
| What helps most often | Couples counselling, which shows large gains in research; waiting alone does not 3 |
| What to bring | Both birth details if your spouse agrees, and when the fighting started |
| Session on Kismo | From ₹15 a minute, first session with 5 free minutes, online from anywhere in India and abroad |
What does an astrologer check when a married couple fights all the time?
- Both Moons. Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra 3.12 names the Moon as the mind and Mars as strength or courage 1, so astrologers compare how each spouse reacts under pressure.
- Which planets sit with each Moon. Verse 3.11 counts the Sun, Saturn, Mars, a waning Moon, Rahu and Ketu as malefics 2; a Moon among them is often read as a mind under strain.
- The 12th house. Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra 11.13 reads it for losses, spending and setbacks 4, which many astrologers check when fights are about money or exhaustion.
- The dashas of both spouses side by side. Two hard periods running at once are often read as a phase that can ease, not a fixed pattern.
- Whether the fighting began with a life change, such as a child, a job loss or a move, which the astrologer asks about before reading anything.
What changes the answer when constant fighting makes you think of separating?
- Whether anyone is afraid. Fear, threats or hitting turn this into a safety matter for 112, 181 and a lawyer, whatever any chart shows.
- Whether you have children at home, and whether they see the fights. Research ties children's outcomes to how much conflict they live with 5.
- Whether both of you have tried counselling. One spouse trying alone is a different situation from two who tried together and still fight.
- Whether the fights follow a recent change. A new baby, debt or illness points to a phase; years of the same fight point to a pattern.
Is it better for the children to separate or to keep fighting?
Children from very high-conflict marriages often do about as well after a divorce as children from intact homes, a 20-year US study found 5. Children from low-conflict marriages that ended in divorce fared much worse, often because they had not seen it coming 5.
That study, led by Alan Booth and Paul Amato at Penn State, surveyed about 2,000 married people up to six times over 20 years and interviewed many of their children 5. Its lesson cuts both ways: daily open fighting harms children, and so does ending a calm marriage lightly.
Counselling changes the picture for many couples. A 2020 meta-analysis of 58 studies with 2,092 couples found couple therapy had a large effect on relationship satisfaction, while couples on a waiting list did not improve 3. Couples who started out most distressed gained the most 3.
| Fact | Number | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Couples in the 2020 couple therapy meta-analysis | 2,092 in 58 studies | 3 |
| Change for couples left on a waiting list | No significant improvement | 3 |
| Cases of cruelty by a husband or his relatives registered in India, 2022 | 1,44,593 | 7 |
| All crimes against women registered in India, 2022 | 4,45,256 | 7 |
| Women helped by One Stop Centres, April 2015 to January 2025 | Over 10.80 lakh, at 812 centres | 6 |
When fights cross into cruelty, the law treats it differently. Cruelty by a husband or his relatives was the largest category of crimes against women registered in India in 2022 7. Under the Hindu Marriage Act, cruelty after marriage is also a ground for divorce 8; a family lawyer explains what it requires.
Kismo is an app where you talk to verified Vedic astrologers by chat or call, in 16 languages. An astrologer there can read both Moons, Mars and your dashas, and help you see whether a hard phase is running. An astrologer cannot judge who is right, stop the fights, or replace a counsellor, a lawyer or the helpline.
What should we try before deciding to separate because of constant fights?
Couples who fight constantly can test, step by step, whether the pattern can change before either decides to separate. This order puts safety first and the big decision last.
| Step | What you do | Who helps |
|---|---|---|
| Now | Check that nobody is in danger; if someone is, leave the room and call 112 or 181 | Police, Women Helpline 181, a One Stop Centre |
| First weeks | Agree on one rule, such as pausing a fight and returning to it later | Each other, a trusted elder |
| Next months | Go to couples or family counselling together, for several sessions | A counsellor |
| Alongside | If you want a reading, look at both charts and the periods you are in | An astrologer |
| If nothing changes | Learn what separation, maintenance and custody involve before acting | A family lawyer; NALSA 15100 for free legal aid |
What do people get wrong about this?
Belief: Staying together is always better for the children, however much we fight.
A 20-year study found children from high-conflict marriages often did about as well after a divorce as children from intact homes 5. Constant open fighting is itself hard on children.
Belief: If we just wait, the fighting will settle by itself.
Couples on waiting lists in therapy studies did not improve, while couples in therapy did 3. Time helps when something else changes, such as how you talk.
Before you pay anyone
How do you know an astrologer is genuine?
- Every Kismo astrologer passes four steps: qualification review, panel interview, live audits of real sessions, 30-day probation.
- Nobody can guarantee an outcome. Treat any promise of a fixed result as a red flag.
- Never pay for an expensive puja or ritual under pressure. Get a second opinion first.
- On Kismo you only pay for the minutes you use; misconduct, pressure or a request for money outside the app is handled by a person.
Which astrologers can I talk to about constant fights, thinking of separating?
- Jyothsna Gosala
Tarot Reading, Life Coach · 1 yrs
English, Telugu, Hindi
★ 4.5 · 5,992 orders · ₹25/min
How does a consultation on Kismo work?
- Log in on kismo.app or get the app from Google Play.
- Pick an astrologer who speaks your language and works with your question.
- Share your date, time and place of birth.
- Ask by chat or call. The first session carries 5 free minutes, then each minute is billed from your wallet.
Questions worth asking in the session
- How do our two Moons and our Mars placements compare?
- Are both of us running a hard dasha at the same time, and when does each end?
- Does my 12th house say anything about the money strain behind our fights?
- Which months look calmer for a counselling start or a serious talk?
- What in my own chart should I work on, whatever we decide?
What should I know before booking a session about constant fights, thinking of separating?
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| What does a session cost? | Each astrologer sets one rate for chat and call, from ₹15 a minute. A 10-minute session at ₹15 a minute costs ₹150 (October 2026). |
| Is the first session free? | 5 free minutes on the first session, no card. |
| Chat or call? | Both. You choose when you start the session. |
| Do I need an exact birth time? | It helps. Without one an astrologer can still read your Moon sign and planets by sign, or work out the time with you. |
| Is my chat private? | Your chat is not shown to other clients. How Kismo handles your data is set out in its privacy policy at kismo.app/privacy. |
| What if I am not happy? | There is no refund for a reading you did not like. Misconduct, pressure or a request for money outside Kismo is handled by a person. |
| Where does it work? | Online, from anywhere in India and abroad. People use Kismo from 80+ countries. |
What else do people ask an astrologer about?
How does Kismo compare with other apps?
Questions people ask
Should I divorce my husband if we fight every day?
Fighting every day is a serious sign, but it does not settle a divorce on its own. First check your safety; if there is hitting or threats, call 112 or 181. Then ask whether you have both tried counselling, which helps many couples. A family lawyer explains your options. An astrologer can add a reading of timing, not a verdict.
Is it better to stay in an unhappy marriage for the kids?
Not always. A long US study found children from high-conflict marriages often did about as well after a divorce as children from intact homes, while children from calm marriages that ended did worse. What hurts children most is living with constant open conflict. A counsellor can help you weigh your own family.
Why do I want a divorce every time we fight?
Wanting a divorce in the middle of a fight is common, because anger narrows what you can see. Notice whether the wish stays on calm days. If it does, talk to a counsellor and a lawyer before acting. Many astrologers also read the Moon, the planet of the mind, for how strongly you react under pressure.
Can marriage counselling really stop constant fighting?
Yes, for many couples. A 2020 review of 58 studies with 2,092 couples found couple therapy had a large effect on satisfaction, and the gains generally lasted. Couples on waiting lists did not improve. Counselling works best when both spouses attend; online sessions help when you live apart.
Which planets in the kundli cause daily fights between husband and wife?
No single planet causes daily fights, in most astrologers' view. They compare both Moons, which Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra calls the mind, and Mars, read for strength and temper. They also check whether malefics sit with the Moon and what dasha each spouse runs. These describe tendencies, not who is to blame.
What does it cost on Kismo to have both our charts read about our fights?
Reading both charts on Kismo costs the astrologer's per-minute rate, from ₹15 a minute, and your first session has 5 free minutes with no card needed. You top up a wallet with at least ₹100 and only the minutes used are charged, so a short first talk costs little.
An astrologer says our fights are caused by someone's black magic and wants money to remove it. Should I pay?
No, do not pay. Blaming black magic and charging to remove it is a common pressure tactic, and it turns attention away from what you two can change. Get a second opinion first. On Kismo, misconduct such as pressure to pay or asking for money outside the app is handled by a person.
Talk to an astrologer about constant fights, thinking of separating
Kismo is an app where you talk to verified Vedic astrologers by chat or call, in 16 languages.
On an iPhone, log in on kismo.app in your browser.
Where do these facts come from?
- Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra, chapter 3, verse 12: what the planets signify, Enjoy Learning Sanskrit. Accessed .
- Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra, chapter 3, verse 11: malefic and benefic planets, Enjoy Learning Sanskrit. Accessed .
- Meta-analysis of couple therapy: Effects across outcomes, designs, timeframes, and other moderators (Roddy, Walsh, Rothman, Hatch and Doss, 2020), Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 88(7), via PubMed. Accessed .
- Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra, chapter 11, verse 13: the 12th house, Enjoy Learning Sanskrit. Accessed .
- Happy marriages: Studying causes and effects of divorce (Booth and Amato, National Longitudinal Study of Marriage), Penn State University, 31 December 2001. Accessed .
- India's Commitment to Women's Safety (29 March 2025), Press Information Bureau, Government of India. Accessed .
- Every hour 52 crimes against women cases registered in India in 2022 (NCRB Crime in India 2022), The Tribune, 6 December 2023. Accessed .
- Hindu Marriage Act 1955, section 13: grounds for divorce, Devgan.in (bare act text). Accessed .
