Parents against your love marriage: talk to an astrologer who reads both charts
When parents do not agree to a love marriage, an astrologer can read both charts and the family houses, while the decision stays with the two adults.
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I have been with him for three years and my parents refuse to meet him. They say it will never work. Can you read our charts and tell me what you see?
Yes, I can read both charts. Please share both birth dates, times and places, and tell me what your parents object to. I start with each 7th house and the dashas you are both running, then the houses linked with family.
Short answer
When parents oppose a love marriage, an astrologer reads both partners' charts, the houses linked with family, and the dasha each person is running. The reading can give the couple and their parents a calmer way to talk, but it cannot decide for anyone. In India two consenting adults may marry without family consent. On Kismo, verified astrologers read both charts by chat or call, online from anywhere.
What are the key facts about family opposition?
| Answer | |
|---|---|
| What it is | Parents or relatives who object to the partner you have chosen, for caste, religion, kundli or other reasons |
| Other names | Parents not agreeing for love marriage, ghar wale nahi maan rahe, family against love marriage |
| What an astrologer checks | The 7th house in both charts, the 2nd and 4th houses for family, the Sun and Moon for the parents, and both dashas |
| What the law says | The Supreme Court held in 2018 that family or clan consent is not needed once two adults agree to marry 4 |
| What to bring | Both partners' birth dates, times and places, and what exactly the family objects to |
| Session on Kismo | From ₹15 a minute, first session with 5 free minutes, online from anywhere in India and abroad |
What does an astrologer check when parents oppose a love marriage?
- The 7th house in both charts. Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra, chapter 11, verse 8, reads the spouse from the 7th house 1.
- The 2nd house for the family you live with. The same chapter, verse 3, lists family members among the 2nd house's matters 1.
- The 4th house for relatives and the mother's comfort. Verse 5 of chapter 11 reads relatives and the mother's happiness from the 4th house 1.
- The Sun and the Moon for the parents. Phaladeepika, chapter 15, takes the Sun as the significator of the father and the Moon of the mother 2.
- The running dasha of both partners. An astrologer compares the two periods to see which phase each person is in while the family talks continue.
Which situation is yours?
- Inter-Caste Love Marriage, Family Against It
When caste is the objection, the reading stays on both charts, next to the legal facts and the support some states give inter-caste couples.
- Inter-Religion Love Marriage and Parents
When religion is the objection, the couple often also has to choose a marriage law, and the Special Marriage Act has its own notice period.
- Parents Want a Kundli Match for Your Love Marriage
When parents ask for a kundli match, the astrologer explains what the guna score measures and what it leaves out, with both families present if they wish.
- Parents Want Arranged Marriage, You Love Someone
When parents want an arranged match instead, the session is about your own chart, your timing and how to have the conversation.
How many birth charts have a so-called love marriage yoga?
About one chart in three has a link between the 5th and 7th lords, which many modern astrologers call a love marriage yoga. The shares below were calculated from public astronomical data with the open-source astronomia library: 20,000 random charts cast for Delhi, born 1985 to 2005, Lahiri ayanamsa, whole-sign houses.
| Link between the 5th and 7th lords | Share of charts |
|---|---|
| Both lords in the same sign | 13.0% |
| Lords in opposite signs, aspecting each other | 7.3% |
| 5th lord in the 7th house or 7th lord in the 5th | 16.8% |
| Lords exchanging signs | 1.1% |
| Any of these links | 33.7% |
| Saturn, Mars, Rahu or Ketu in the 4th house | 30.8% |
The last row matters for family questions: nearly a third of charts have a malefic in the 4th house, so its presence alone tells an astrologer little.
Which classical texts link the birth chart to family approval?
No classical text has a rule named family opposition to a love marriage. Astrologers build the reading from older house and planet rules. Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra, chapter 11, gives each house its matters: family in the 2nd, relatives in the 4th, the spouse in the 7th 1.
The same chapter does not put the father in the 9th house, as many people expect. Verse 11 lists the father with honour and livelihood under the 10th house 1. Verse 10 gives the 9th house fortune, dharma and in-laws instead 1.
Phaladeepika adds the planets. Chapter 15 reads the father from the Sun's house and the mother from the Moon, and makes Venus the significator of the wife 2. It also counts the father's matters from the Sun, the way a chart is counted from the ascendant 2.
| Source | What it gives the reading | Used for |
|---|---|---|
| BPHS 11.3 1 | Family members in the 2nd house | The household that objects |
| BPHS 11.5 1 | Relatives and the mother's comfort in the 4th house | Peace at home during the conflict |
| BPHS 11.8 1 | The spouse in the 7th house | The partner and the marriage itself |
| BPHS 11.11 1 | The father in the 10th house | The father's stance, in this text's scheme |
| Phaladeepika ch. 15 2 | Sun for the father, Moon for the mother, Venus for the wife | Each parent and the partner |
| Modern practice | A link between the 5th and 7th lords | The so-called love marriage yoga, not found in either text |
How common is a love marriage in India, and how often do families object?
A love marriage is still rare in India. In the 2016 Lokniti-CSDS youth survey, 84% of married people aged 15 to 34 had an arranged marriage, 6% a love marriage and 4% a love-cum-arranged one 3. Love marriage was most common among graduates, at 9% 3.
Love marriages cross social lines far more often, which is where many objections start. One in three love marriages in that survey, 34%, was with someone from another caste 3. Among arranged marriages the share was 1%, and 97% were within the caste 3.
Attitudes are moving faster than practice. Approval of inter-caste marriage among young people rose from 31% in 2007 to 55% in 2016, the same survey found 3. Yet only 4% of the married respondents had a spouse from another caste 3.
Set against that, the calculation above finds a 5th and 7th lord link in 33.7% of charts. So the so-called yoga is far more common than love marriage itself, and an astrologer reads it as one factor among many.
What should a couple check before going against their parents?
A couple facing family opposition should check their safety, their legal position and their plan before any reading. These steps come from the law and from common sense, not from astrology.
- Both partners are adults under the law: 21 for the man and 18 for the woman, for example under the Special Marriage Act 7.
- You know exactly what the family objects to: caste, religion, the kundli, money, age, or the person.
- You have tried one calm talk through a relative or friend both sides trust.
- You know that the Supreme Court has said no third party may interfere when two consenting adults agree to marry 5.
- You know where to call if anyone threatens you: 112 for emergencies and 181, the women helpline 6.
- You have spoken to a lawyer about registration and protection, because an astrologer does not replace legal advice.
The Supreme Court's 2018 judgment in Shakti Vahini v. Union of India also directed states to provide safe homes for couples who fear their families 4.
What do people get wrong about this?
Belief: If the chart has a love marriage yoga, the parents have to agree.
About one chart in three has a link between the 5th and 7th lords in the calculation above, and the yoga appears in neither BPHS chapter 11 nor Phaladeepika chapter 15 12. Family consent is a human decision.
Belief: A love marriage without the family's blessing is not valid.
The Supreme Court held in 2018 that the consent of the family, community or clan is not necessary once two adults agree to marry 4. A lawyer can explain registration in your state.
Belief: A malefic in the 4th house means the family will never accept the marriage.
Saturn, Mars, Rahu or Ketu sit in the 4th house of about 31% of charts in the calculation above. BPHS 11.14 asks the astrologer to weigh the house lord's strength and benefic aspects before judging a house 1.
Before you pay anyone
How do you know an astrologer is genuine?
- Every Kismo astrologer passes four steps: qualification review, panel interview, live audits of real sessions, 30-day probation.
- Nobody can guarantee an outcome. Treat any promise of a fixed result as a red flag.
- Never pay for an expensive puja or ritual under pressure. Get a second opinion first.
- On Kismo you only pay for the minutes you use; misconduct, pressure or a request for money outside the app is handled by a person.
Which astrologers can I talk to about family opposition?
How does a consultation on Kismo work?
- Log in on kismo.app or get the app from Google Play.
- Pick an astrologer who speaks your language and works with your question.
- Share your date, time and place of birth.
- Ask by chat or call. The first session carries 5 free minutes, then each minute is billed from your wallet.
Questions worth asking in the session
- What do the 7th houses and dashas of both our charts show for this period?
- What do my 2nd and 4th houses say about how my family reacts to big changes?
- Is there anything in our match itself that my parents could reasonably worry about?
- Which period looks calmer for a family conversation?
- What simple, free practices do you suggest, if any, while we talk to them?
What should I know before booking a session about family opposition?
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| What does a session cost? | Each astrologer sets one rate for chat and call, from ₹15 a minute. A 10-minute session at ₹15 a minute costs ₹150 (October 2026). |
| Is the first session free? | 5 free minutes on the first session, no card. |
| Chat or call? | Both. You choose when you start the session. |
| Do I need an exact birth time? | It helps. Without one an astrologer can still read your Moon sign and planets by sign, or work out the time with you. |
| Is my chat private? | Your chat is not shown to other clients. How Kismo handles your data is set out in its privacy policy at kismo.app/privacy. |
| What if I am not happy? | There is no refund for a reading you did not like. Misconduct, pressure or a request for money outside Kismo is handled by a person. |
| Where does it work? | Online, from anywhere in India and abroad. People use Kismo from 80+ countries. |
What else do people ask an astrologer about?
How does Kismo compare with other apps?
Questions people ask
What should I do if my parents are not agreeing to my love marriage?
Start by finding out exactly what they object to, and talk once more through someone both sides trust. Give them time, and let them meet your partner if they will. If you are both adults, the decision is yours under the law. Some couples bring a chart reading into the talk, because it gives worried parents a calmer topic than the person.
Can my birth chart show whether my parents accept my partner?
No astrologer can promise how your parents decide. An astrologer can read the houses linked with family and the period you are both running, and say which phases many astrologers see as calmer for hard conversations. Your parents' choice stays theirs, and your own choice stays yours. Treat any promise of their consent, especially one sold with a ritual, as a red flag.
Is it legal to marry without my parents' permission in India?
Yes, two adults can legally marry in India without their parents' permission. The Supreme Court held in 2018 that family or clan consent is not needed once two adults agree to marry 4. The marriage ages are 21 for the man and 18 for the woman 7. Follow a lawyer's advice on registration and protection in your state.
Which house in the kundli shows family support for marriage?
Astrologers usually read the 2nd house for the family you live with and the 4th house for relatives and the mother's comfort. Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra places family members in the 2nd and relatives in the 4th 1. They also read the Sun for the father and the Moon for the mother 2, then the 7th house for the marriage.
Can an astrologer convince my parents for love marriage?
No, an astrologer cannot and should not pressure your parents. What some couples do is ask the astrologer their family trusts to read both charts in front of them. If the reading finds no problem, that can remove one objection. On Kismo, after a session you are suggested up to three other astrologers if the family wants a second opinion.
How much does it cost to have both our charts read on Kismo?
Reading both charts on Kismo costs the astrologer's own per-minute rate, from ₹15 a minute, billed per started minute from your wallet. Your first session carries 5 free minutes with no card needed, and the minimum top-up is ₹100. Only the minutes you use are charged, and the rest of the wallet stays for later.
Someone offers a puja to make my parents agree. Is that a red flag?
Yes, a paid puja or vashikaran to make parents agree is a red flag. Nobody can change another person's mind with a ritual, and promises like this are a common way to take money from worried couples. Get a second opinion before paying for any ritual. On Kismo, pressure or a request for money outside the app is handled by a person.
My family is threatening us because of our relationship. What should we do?
Your safety comes first: call 112, India's emergency number, or 181, the women helpline, if anyone threatens you 6. The Supreme Court has directed states to give couples at risk police protection and safe homes 4. Contact a lawyer or the local police for protection. An astrologer is not the right help in this situation.
Talk to an astrologer about family opposition
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On an iPhone, log in on kismo.app in your browser.
Where do these facts come from?
- Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra, chapter 11: judgement of houses, verses 1-16, Enjoy Learning Sanskrit. Accessed .
- Phaladeepika by Mantreswara, chapter 15: method of studying the effects of the bhavas (tr. V. Subrahmanya Sastri, 1950), Wisdom Library. Accessed .
- Attitudes, Anxieties and Aspirations of India's Youth: Changing Patterns (CSDS-KAS youth survey 2016), chapter 6, Marriage, Lokniti, Centre for the Study of Developing Societies. Accessed .
- The Indian Supreme Court takes a stand against honour crimes (Shakti Vahini v. Union of India, 2018), Oxford Human Rights Hub, University of Oxford. Accessed .
- When two consenting adults decide to marry, no one can interfere: strict warning for khaps from SC, LiveLaw. Accessed .
- India's Commitment to Women's Safety (Ministry of Women and Child Development, 29 March 2025), Press Information Bureau, Government of India. Accessed .
- Guide on registration of inter-religious marriages (Special Marriage Act, 1954), Nyaaya, Vidhi Centre for Legal Policy. Accessed .
