Parents insist on kundli matching before your love marriage: get both charts read properly
When parents make a kundli match their condition, the most useful step is often a full reading of both charts that the whole family can follow.
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My parents ran our kundlis on an app, got 16 out of 36 and said no. We have been together two years. Can you look at the full match and explain it to them?
Yes. Please share both birth dates, exact times and places. A score of 16 tells me which kootas lost points, but I also read each 7th house, Venus and your dashas. I can explain each part in plain words for your parents.
Short answer
When parents want a kundli match before a love marriage, an astrologer can run the 36-point guna milan 5 and then read both full charts, because a score alone leaves out each person's 7th house and dasha. Many low scores come from one or two factors that astrologers weigh against the rest. Doing the reading with parents present can calm the talk. On Kismo, verified astrologers read both charts by chat or call, online from anywhere.
What are the key facts about family opposition?
| Answer | |
|---|---|
| The situation | You have chosen your partner, and your parents will agree only if the kundlis match |
| What the score is | Ashtakoot or guna milan, scored out of 36 5, with 18 as the usual pass mark 1 |
| What a score leaves out | Each partner's 7th house, Venus, manglik status and running dasha |
| Basic doshas in random couples | Same nadi in about 1 couple in 3; a bhakoot sign gap in about 1 in 2 (calculated, below) |
| What to bring | Both exact birth times; the Moon changes nakshatra during 96% of days |
| Session on Kismo | From ₹15 a minute, 5 free minutes in the first session, online from anywhere in India and abroad |
What does an astrologer check when parents ask for a kundli match?
- Both birth times first. Astrologers in a Jammu field study said some people give wrong birth details to get a match through, which makes any result wrong 1.
- The guna milan total and where the points were lost, since a match below 18 is often rejected on the total alone 1.
- Each person's chart on its own. Astrologers in the same study said both charts should promise a happy marriage before the 36-point score is weighed 1.
- Each 7th house, which Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra 11.8 reads for the spouse 4.
- Manglik status in both charts, which many families check on top of the 36-point score 1.
What changes the answer when parents want a kundli match?
- Whether the score came from an app or an astrologer. An app gives a total; an astrologer can say which factor lost the points and whether it matters in your two charts.
- Which factor failed. A couple with only a nadi or only a bhakoot problem gets a different reading from one that fails several.
- Whether the birth times are exact. An hour's error can move the ascendant and, on some days, the nakshatra, which changes the score.
- What your parents really want. Some parents want reassurance, some want a reason to say no; a reading together with them shows which.
How often do random couples get a nadi or bhakoot dosha?
About one random couple in seven has both a nadi and a bhakoot problem by the basic rules 5. Calculated from public astronomical data with the open-source astronomia library: 20,000 random couples, each partner born 1990 to 2003, Lahiri sidereal Moon.
| Calculated fact | Share |
|---|---|
| Both partners in the same nadi | 32.3% of couples |
| Moon signs 2-12, 6-8 or 5-9 apart (bhakoot) | 49.9% of couples |
| Both problems at once | 14.0% of couples |
| Neither problem | 31.8% of couples |
| Same birth nakshatra | 3.7% of couples |
| Birth days on which the Moon changes nakshatra | 95.7% |
| Birth days on which the Moon changes sign | 44.3% |
These are the basic rules before any exception, so many couples flagged by an app are read differently by an astrologer. The last two rows explain why a guessed birth time can change the result.
Why do so many parents still insist on a kundli match?
For many parents the 36-point score is the whole of matching. A study cited in The Eastern Anthropologist found that barely 20% of Hindu parents used to visit an astrologer for matchmaking ten years earlier 1. The other 80% avoided it or relied on the simple 36-point score, with 18 as the pass mark 1.
Matching can also be a polite way to say no. In a News Minute report on Kerala, Praveena Kodoth said families have ways of making sure the horoscopes of alliances they dislike do not match 3. The same report describes families who accepted a love marriage only after the horoscopes matched 3.
Not everyone wants it. In a 2009 shaadi.com poll in Bangalore, 66% of women respondents voted against horoscope matching, Citizen Matters reported 2. Astrologers interviewed in the Jammu study said many good matches are rejected because of a low total alone 1.
A Kismo astrologer can read the full match, explain each factor in plain words and do it with your parents in the session. An astrologer cannot promise that your parents agree, and should never tell you a score guarantees a happy marriage.
What does a full match read beyond the 36-point score?
A full match reads each chart on its own and then the pair, while the 36-point score covers only the pair's Moon positions.
| Your chart | Your partner's chart | The pair |
|---|---|---|
| 7th house, its lord and Venus | 7th house, its lord and Venus | Guna milan total and each koota |
| Mars, for manglik status | Mars, for manglik status | Whether nadi or bhakoot is cancelled |
| The running dasha | The running dasha | Whether both birth times are reliable |
What do people get wrong about this?
Belief: A match below 18 points means the marriage cannot work.
Astrologers interviewed in the Jammu study said many compatible matches are rejected only because the total is below 18, and that both full charts matter first 1.
Belief: A nadi dosha is rare, so it must be serious.
By the basic rule, about 32.3% of random couples share a nadi in the calculation above. That is why many astrologers check the exceptions before reading it 5.
Before you pay anyone
How do you know an astrologer is genuine?
- Every Kismo astrologer passes four steps: qualification review, panel interview, live audits of real sessions, 30-day probation.
- Nobody can guarantee an outcome. Treat any promise of a fixed result as a red flag.
- Never pay for an expensive puja or ritual under pressure. Get a second opinion first.
- On Kismo you only pay for the minutes you use; misconduct, pressure or a request for money outside the app is handled by a person.
Which astrologers can I talk to about family opposition?
How does a consultation on Kismo work?
- Log in on kismo.app or get the app from Google Play.
- Pick an astrologer who speaks your language and works with your question.
- Share your date, time and place of birth.
- Ask by chat or call. The first session carries 5 free minutes, then each minute is billed from your wallet.
Questions worth asking in the session
- Which kootas lost points in our match, and why?
- Do either of our charts cancel the nadi or bhakoot problem?
- What do our 7th houses and dashas show, apart from the score?
- Can you explain the match to my parents in the same session?
- Should we check either birth time before trusting the score?
What should I know before booking a session about family opposition?
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| What does a session cost? | Each astrologer sets one rate for chat and call, from ₹15 a minute. A 10-minute session at ₹15 a minute costs ₹150 (October 2026). |
| Is the first session free? | 5 free minutes on the first session, no card. |
| Chat or call? | Both. You choose when you start the session. |
| Do I need an exact birth time? | It helps. Without one an astrologer can still read your Moon sign and planets by sign, or work out the time with you. |
| Is my chat private? | Your chat is not shown to other clients. How Kismo handles your data is set out in its privacy policy at kismo.app/privacy. |
| What if I am not happy? | There is no refund for a reading you did not like. Misconduct, pressure or a request for money outside Kismo is handled by a person. |
| Where does it work? | Online, from anywhere in India and abroad. People use Kismo from 80+ countries. |
What else do people ask an astrologer about?
How does Kismo compare with other apps?
Questions people ask
Our kundli is not matching in our love marriage. What can we do?
First find out which part does not match and who calculated it. An app total can hide that one factor lost most of the points, and many astrologers read exceptions for nadi and bhakoot 5. Ask an astrologer to read both full charts and both dashas. If your parents trust a particular astrologer, ask for the reading with them present.
Is a guna score of 16 or 17 out of 36 bad for a love marriage?
Not on its own. The usual pass mark is 18, and many families stop there 1. Many astrologers look at which kootas lost points and read both full charts before giving an opinion. A couple scoring 16 with strong 7th houses can be read more kindly than one scoring 24 with a serious problem elsewhere.
My parents say they will agree only if our kundlis match. How do I handle it?
Agree on the astrologer before the reading, ideally one your parents already trust, and ask for the full match, not just a score. Sit in the session together so the explanation reaches everyone at once. If the result worries them, ask for a second opinion rather than arguing about the number.
Can parents fake a kundli mismatch to stop a love marriage?
It happens. Praveena Kodoth, quoted by The News Minute, said families have ways of making sure the horoscopes of alliances they dislike do not match 3. Wrong birth details can do it too 1. Ask for both charts with the exact birth details used, and have a second astrologer check the result.
How much does it cost to get our kundli match explained on Kismo?
A match reading on Kismo costs the astrologer's own rate, from ₹15 a minute, billed per started minute from your wallet. Kismo is an app where you talk to verified Vedic astrologers by chat or call, in 16 languages. Your first session carries 5 free minutes, and after a session you are shown up to three other astrologers for a second opinion.
An astrologer says a costly puja can fix our low guna score. Should I pay?
No, not under pressure. No ritual changes a guna score, which comes from the Moon's positions at birth, and nobody can promise what a puja does for a marriage. Get a second opinion before paying for any ritual. On Kismo, pressure or a request for money outside the app is handled by a person.
Does the exact birth time matter for kundli matching?
Yes, the exact birth time matters. The Moon changed nakshatra during 95.7% of birth days in the calculation on this page, and the nakshatra decides several kootas. The time also sets each 7th house. If a time is a guess, tell the astrologer, who may check it before trusting the score.
Talk to an astrologer about family opposition
Kismo is an app where you talk to verified Vedic astrologers by chat or call, in 16 languages.
On an iPhone, log in on kismo.app in your browser.
Where do these facts come from?
- Significance of Horoscope Matching in Marriages among the Hindu Dogras of Jammu District: A Sociological Analysis of Manglik Dosha (Abhinandan), The Eastern Anthropologist 76:3 (2023), Serials Publications. Accessed .
- Roadblocks to perfect marriages (Sreenivasan V P, 24 November 2009), Citizen Matters. Accessed .
- Horoscope matches still popular in Kerala, despite failed marriages and little science (10 July 2021), The News Minute. Accessed .
- Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra, chapter 11, verse 8: the 7th house, Enjoy Learning Sanskrit. Accessed .
- Muhurta Chintamani of Rama Daivajna with Hindi commentary by Pt. Mahidhara Sharma, ch. 6 (Vivaha Prakarana), vv. 21, 31-34 and 37, pp. 81-88, Khemraj Shri Krishna Das Prakashan, Mumbai, via Internet Archive. Accessed .
