Conflict with your parents: talk to an astrologer about the bond with your mother or father
Conflict with parents changes shape over a life, from a young adult who wants a say to a grown child caring for an ageing mother or father.
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My father and I fight every time we talk, about my job and now about who looks after him. I love him but it is exhausting. What does my chart say?
Please share your birth date, time and place. I will read your Sun and your 9th and 10th houses for your father, then the period you are running, and we can see which months look calmer.
Short answer
Conflict with parents is read in Vedic astrology from the Sun for the father and the Moon for the mother, by Phaladeepika, with the 4th house and the 9th or 10th 412. An astrologer can show where the strain sits and which periods look calmer, for a young adult or a grown child of ageing parents. On Kismo, verified Vedic astrologers read your chart by chat or call, online from anywhere.
What are the key facts about family disputes?
| Answer | |
|---|---|
| The situation | Arguments with a mother or father, from a young adult's choices to an adult child's care of ageing parents |
| Planets read | The Sun for the father, the Moon for the mother 4 |
| Houses read | 4th for the mother; 9th for the father in Phaladeepika, 10th in Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra 12 |
| Read from a parent's chart | The lords of the 1st and 5th houses, for the bond with a son, in Prasna Marga 3 |
| If an older parent is hurt or neglected | Elder Line 14567; a maintenance claim under the 2007 Act (see below) |
| Session on Kismo | From ₹15 a minute, 5 free minutes in the first session, online from anywhere in India and abroad |
What does an astrologer check in a conflict with parents?
- The Sun and the Moon. Phaladeepika 2.1 reads the father through the Sun, and 2.2 reads the mother's welfare and mental peace through the Moon 4.
- The 4th house for the mother and the home. Phaladeepika's list of house names puts the mother in the 4th 1.
- The 9th or 10th house for the father. Phaladeepika calls the 9th pitru, while Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra 11.11 reads the father from the 10th 12.
- The lords of the 1st and 5th, when a parent asks. Prasna Marga 19.66 reads father and son as well disposed when these lords are friends, ill-disposed when enemies 3.
- The running dasha of both sides, if the parent's chart is shared. Many astrologers check whether parent and child are in hard periods at once.
What changes the answer in a conflict with parents?
- Your age and who depends on whom. A 22-year-old who wants a say and a 45-year-old caring for a parent of 75 ask different questions of the same houses.
- Mother or father. The Moon and the 4th are read for the mother, the Sun and the 9th or 10th for the father, so say which parent it is.
- What the fight is about. A choice of partner is read on family opposition to a marriage; a career choice belongs with the 10th house.
- Whether anyone is unsafe. An older parent who is hit, starved or cheated of money needs Elder Line 14567, and a young person hit at home needs 112.
How often are older parents in India mistreated, and what does the law say?
About 1 in 20 Indians aged 60 and over reported ill-treatment in the past year, in the Longitudinal Ageing Study in India (LASI) 5. Nearly 40% of those reports named a child or grandchild as the person responsible 5.
| LASI finding, people aged 60 and over | Figure | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Reported ill-treatment in the past year | About 5% | 5 |
| Of those, verbal or emotional abuse | More than three-fourths | 5 |
| Of those, economic exploitation | About a third | 5 |
| Of those, physical ill-treatment | About a fifth | 5 |
| Survey size, adults 45 and over | 72,250 | 5 |
The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007 lets a parent who cannot support themselves claim maintenance from their adult children 6. Section 5(4) asks the tribunal to decide within 90 days 6.
Section 23 protects parents who gave away property. If a parent transferred a house on the condition of being looked after and was not, the tribunal can declare the transfer void 6.
Elder Line 14567, the national helpline for senior citizens, runs from 8 am to 8 pm, and a 2025 report counted a daily average of 112 calls 7. A Kismo astrologer can read your Sun, Moon and 4th house and suggest calmer periods; an astrologer cannot replace this help or a lawyer.
How does a conflict with parents change at each stage of life?
A conflict with parents changes with the stage of life, and so does the question you bring to an astrologer.
| Stage | Typical conflict | What an astrologer reads | Help beside the chart |
|---|---|---|---|
| Teens and early 20s | Studies, friends, freedom | Sun, Moon and the running dasha | A school counsellor, Tele-MANAS 14416 8 |
| Choosing a career or partner | Whose choice it is | 10th house for career, 7th for marriage | A family elder both sides trust |
| Married, living with parents | Space, money, a spouse in the middle | 4th house of the shared home | A family counsellor |
| Parents over 60 | Care, money, the house | Sun, Moon, 4th and 9th or 10th | Elder Line 14567, a maintenance claim 76 |
What do people get wrong about this?
Belief: A weak Sun in your chart means your father does not love you.
Phaladeepika reads the father's matters through the Sun, not his feelings for you 4. Astrologers weigh the Sun with the 9th or 10th house before saying anything about the bond.
Belief: If the planets of parent and child are enemies, the two are bound to fight for life.
Prasna Marga 19.66 reads enemy lords of the 1st and 5th as ill will between father and son, but stanzas 67-68 list other links that make the son dutiful 3. Astrologers weigh all of them, not one rule.
Before you pay anyone
How do you know an astrologer is genuine?
- Every Kismo astrologer passes four steps: qualification review, panel interview, live audits of real sessions, 30-day probation.
- Nobody can guarantee an outcome. Treat any promise of a fixed result as a red flag.
- Never pay for an expensive puja or ritual under pressure. Get a second opinion first.
- On Kismo you only pay for the minutes you use; misconduct, pressure or a request for money outside the app is handled by a person.
Which astrologers can I talk to about family disputes?
How does a consultation on Kismo work?
- Log in on kismo.app or get the app from Google Play.
- Pick an astrologer who speaks your language and works with your question.
- Share your date, time and place of birth.
- Ask by chat or call. The first session carries 5 free minutes, then each minute is billed from your wallet.
Questions worth asking in the session
- How are my Sun and Moon placed, and what does that say about my parents?
- Which house do you read my father from, the 9th or the 10th, and why?
- Which period am I running, and is my parent in a hard period too?
- Which months look calmer for a talk about care or money?
What should I know before booking a session about family disputes?
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| What does a session cost? | Each astrologer sets one rate for chat and call, from ₹15 a minute. A 10-minute session at ₹15 a minute costs ₹150 (October 2026). |
| Is the first session free? | 5 free minutes on the first session, no card. |
| Chat or call? | Both. You choose when you start the session. |
| Do I need an exact birth time? | It helps. Without one an astrologer can still read your Moon sign and planets by sign, or work out the time with you. |
| Is my chat private? | Your chat is not shown to other clients. How Kismo handles your data is set out in its privacy policy at kismo.app/privacy. |
| What if I am not happy? | There is no refund for a reading you did not like. Misconduct, pressure or a request for money outside Kismo is handled by a person. |
| Where does it work? | Online, from anywhere in India and abroad. People use Kismo from 80+ countries. |
What else do people ask an astrologer about?
How does Kismo compare with other apps?
Questions people ask
Which house in astrology represents parents?
The 4th house represents the mother, and the father is read from the 9th house in Phaladeepika or the 10th in Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra. Astrologers also read the Sun for the father and the Moon for the mother. Many read both the 9th and the 10th because the two classical texts disagree.
Why do I fight with my parents so much as an adult?
Adults fight with parents most often over a partner, a job, money, living space or the care of a parent who is ageing. Each side is used to an older role. An astrologer may read your Sun, Moon and 4th house, but naming the real topic and talking about one thing at a time helps more than any chart.
My parents do not support my choices. Can an astrologer help?
An astrologer can help you understand the pattern and pick a calmer time to talk, but cannot make your parents agree. The reading looks at your Sun, Moon and the house tied to the choice, such as the 10th for a career. A trusted relative or counsellor often helps the talk itself.
What can I do if my elderly parents are being neglected by a sibling?
Call Elder Line 14567 for guidance, and talk to a lawyer about a maintenance claim. Under the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007, a parent who cannot support themselves can claim maintenance from adult children through a tribunal. An astrologer can read the family houses, but this is a legal and care question first.
Can I ask a Kismo astrologer about my father without his birth time?
Yes, a Kismo astrologer can read your father's side from your own chart, through your Sun and your 9th and 10th houses. His own chart needs his birth date, time and place. Kismo is an app where you talk to verified Vedic astrologers by chat or call, in 16 languages.
How much is a Kismo session about problems with my parents?
A Kismo session about problems with your parents costs the astrologer's own rate per minute, from ₹15 a minute, the same for chat and call. The first session carries 5 free minutes, no card needed. The minimum top-up is ₹100, and money you do not use stays in your wallet.
Someone says a costly remedy will make my parents agree with me. Is that real?
No honest astrologer can promise that a remedy makes your parents agree with you. Pressure to pay for one is a red flag. Free practices, such as respect shown on the day of the Sun or the Moon, are what tradition suggests first. Get a second opinion before paying for any ritual.
Talk to an astrologer about family disputes
Kismo is an app where you talk to verified Vedic astrologers by chat or call, in 16 languages.
On an iPhone, log in on kismo.app in your browser.
Where do these facts come from?
- Phaladeepika by Mantreswara, chapter 1: names of the houses (tr. V. Subrahmanya Sastri), Wisdom Library. Accessed .
- Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra, chapter 11, verse 11: the 10th house and the father, Enjoy Learning Sanskrit. Accessed .
- Prasna Marga, Part 2 (tr. B. V. Raman), chapter 19, stanzas 66-69: father and son, Internet Archive. Accessed .
- Phaladeepika by Mantreswara, chapter 2, slokas 1-2: the Sun and the father, the Moon and the mother (tr. V. Subrahmanya Sastri), Wisdom Library. Accessed .
- Survey finds one in 20 of India's elderly was ill-treated (Harshita Chari, 11 January 2021), The Wire Science. Accessed .
- The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007: A Sword That Needs Sharpening? (Ang & Partners, 9 March 2024), LiveLaw. Accessed .
- Elder Line 14567: helpline for senior citizens in Kerala (29 November 2025), Onmanorama (Malayala Manorama). Accessed .
- Tele-MANAS overview (Ministry of Health and Family Welfare programme, helpline 14416), LGB Regional Institute of Mental Health, Tezpur. Accessed .
