We fight all the time: should I break up before we get married? Talk to an astrologer
When you fight almost every day before marriage, the question is whether the fights are fair and fixable, or a pattern you would carry into a home.
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My boyfriend and I fight almost every day, about small things and big ones. Our families want us to get engaged next year. Should I break up before it is too late?
Thank you for telling me before the engagement, that is the right time to ask. I can read Mars and your 6th and 7th houses, and his chart if you have it. Tell me how your fights usually go and how they end.
Short answer
Fighting all the time is a strong reason to look closely before marriage, but the number of fights alone does not decide whether to break up. How you fight matters more: contempt, threats and stonewalling weigh heavier than loud but fair arguments. An astrologer can read Mars, your 6th and 7th houses and your period. On Kismo, verified astrologers help by chat or call, online from anywhere.
What are the key facts about should i break up?
| Answer | |
|---|---|
| The situation | You are dating or engaged, not yet married, and you fight most days or every week |
| What research watches | How couples fight, not only how often: harsh, negative fighting predicted earlier divorce 1 |
| What an astrologer checks | Mars in both charts, your 6th house of disputes, your 7th house and lord, and the dasha |
| When safety comes first | Hitting, threats or control: call Women Helpline 181 or 112, not an astrologer 3 |
| What a reading cannot do | Decide for you, or say who is right in each fight |
| Session on Kismo | From ₹15 a minute, 5 free minutes in the first session, online from anywhere in India and abroad |
What does an astrologer check when a couple fights all the time?
- Mars in both charts. Many astrologers compare the house and sign of each Mars to see whether both partners run hot, or one much more than the other.
- Your 6th house. Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra 11.7 gives the 6th house enemies, fears and wounds, which astrologers read for disputes 4.
- Your 7th house and its lord, and any link between the 7th lord and the 6th house, which is often read as friction with a partner.
- The Moons of both partners. Two Moons in a tense placement are often read as two people who process anger very differently.
- The running dasha. A Mars or 6th-lord period is often read as a heated phase, which helps separate a passing period from a lasting pattern.
What changes the answer when you fight all the time before marriage?
- How the fights end. Fights that end in an apology and a plan read very differently from fights that end in days of silence.
- Whether there is contempt or fear. Mocking, name-calling, threats or pushing are not ordinary conflict, and safety comes first.
- Whether the fights are about you two or about outside pressure. Family, money or distance can drive fights between people who otherwise match.
- How close the wedding is. Before an engagement, ending things costs less than after families have planned a wedding.
Do couples who fight a lot before marriage stay together?
Couples who fight a lot can stay together, but long-term research finds that harsh, negative fighting is a warning sign. In a study that followed 79 couples for 14 years, 22 of them, or 27.8%, had divorced 1. Negative feeling during conflict predicted the early divorces, which came about 7.4 years into marriage on average 1.
Intense fighting is not the main reason couples give for ending things, but it is a big one. In a California divorce mediation study cited by the same researchers, 40% of couples named severe, intense fighting as a reason 1. Women cited it more often than men, 44% against 35% 1.
| Finding | Number | Source |
|---|---|---|
| Couples divorced after 14 years in the study | 22 of 79 (27.8%) | 1 |
| Average years to an early divorce | 7.4 | 1 |
| Accuracy of the model predicting divorce | 93% | 1 |
| Couples citing severe fighting as a reason to divorce | 40% (44% of women, 35% of men) | 1 |
| Conflict among the top 5 relationship predictors | Yes, across 43 datasets | 2 |
Conflict also ranks among the strongest everyday signs of how a relationship feels. A 2020 analysis of 43 couples studies found conflict among the five top relationship-specific predictors of relationship quality 2. So constant fighting deserves attention before marriage, while change is still easy.
Kismo is an app where you talk to verified Vedic astrologers by chat or call, in 16 languages. An astrologer there can read Mars and your 6th and 7th houses and help you think about timing. An astrologer cannot referee your fights or replace a couples counsellor, and if you are being hurt, call Women Helpline 181 or 112 first 3.
What do people ask when they fight with their partner every day?
| Question | Short answer |
|---|---|
| Can a long engagement fix the fighting? | Time alone rarely changes a pattern; a new way of talking does |
| Does a manglik match cause fights? | Mars is read for temper, but a manglik label alone does not explain daily fights |
| Will marriage stop the fighting? | Marriage rarely removes a fighting pattern; it usually adds new pressures |
| Should we see a counsellor before deciding? | Yes, a few sessions together can show whether the pattern can change |
What do people get wrong about this?
Belief: Fighting a lot proves you care deeply about each other.
In a 14-year study, negative feeling during conflict predicted earlier divorce, not a stronger bond 1.
Belief: Once you marry, the fights calm down by themselves.
In the same study, how couples fought when first observed predicted the early divorces, which came about 7.4 years into marriage 1.
Belief: A bad Mars placement means you will always fight.
Astrologers weigh Mars against the rest of the chart and both partners' Moons, and read a heated dasha as a phase, not a sentence.
Before you pay anyone
How do you know an astrologer is genuine?
- Every Kismo astrologer passes four steps: qualification review, panel interview, live audits of real sessions, 30-day probation.
- Nobody can guarantee an outcome. Treat any promise of a fixed result as a red flag.
- Never pay for an expensive puja or ritual under pressure. Get a second opinion first.
- On Kismo you only pay for the minutes you use; misconduct, pressure or a request for money outside the app is handled by a person.
Which astrologers can I talk to about should i break up?
- Jyothsna Gosala
Tarot Reading, Life Coach · 1 yrs
English, Telugu, Hindi
★ 4.5 · 5,992 orders · ₹25/min
How does a consultation on Kismo work?
- Log in on kismo.app or get the app from Google Play.
- Pick an astrologer who speaks your language and works with your question.
- Share your date, time and place of birth.
- Ask by chat or call. The first session carries 5 free minutes, then each minute is billed from your wallet.
Questions worth asking in the session
- How do you read Mars in my chart and in his?
- Is there a link between my 7th lord and the 6th house?
- Is my current dasha read as a heated phase that may pass?
- Are our fights more about us, or about outside pressure, as you read it?
- Should we try counselling before we decide on the engagement?
What should I know before booking a session about should i break up?
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| What does a session cost? | Each astrologer sets one rate for chat and call, from ₹15 a minute. A 10-minute session at ₹15 a minute costs ₹150 (October 2026). |
| Is the first session free? | 5 free minutes on the first session, no card. |
| Chat or call? | Both. You choose when you start the session. |
| Do I need an exact birth time? | It helps. Without one an astrologer can still read your Moon sign and planets by sign, or work out the time with you. |
| Is my chat private? | Your chat is not shown to other clients. How Kismo handles your data is set out in its privacy policy at kismo.app/privacy. |
| What if I am not happy? | There is no refund for a reading you did not like. Misconduct, pressure or a request for money outside Kismo is handled by a person. |
| Where does it work? | Online, from anywhere in India and abroad. People use Kismo from 80+ countries. |
What else do people ask an astrologer about?
How does Kismo compare with other apps?
Questions people ask
Should we break up if we argue all the time?
Arguing all the time is a good reason to stop and look closely, but not an automatic reason to break up. Ask how the fights go: fair arguments that end in repair are different from contempt, threats or days of silence. Try one honest talk or a few counselling sessions. If nothing changes, or you feel unsafe, ending it is a valid choice.
Is it normal to fight every day in a relationship?
Some disagreement is normal in a relationship, especially before marriage, while two people learn to share decisions and families. Fighting most days, or fighting in a way that leaves you scared or small, is not something to wait out. Long-term research finds that harsh, negative fighting early on predicts earlier divorce, so it is worth addressing now.
Which planet causes constant fights between partners in astrology?
Astrologers usually look at Mars for temper and at the 6th house for disputes. Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra gives the 6th house enemies, fears and wounds. A 7th lord linked to the 6th house is often read as friction with a partner. The dasha you are running is checked too, since some periods are read as more heated.
Can a relationship survive constant arguing, and can kundli matching tell?
Many relationships survive arguing when fights end in repair, but kundli matching cannot say whether you keep fighting, because how you treat each other is a choice. A match can show where two charts pull in different directions, such as tense Moons or two strong Mars placements. Use that as a map of sore points to work on, not as a promise or a warning.
What does a reading on constant fights cost on Kismo?
A 15-minute reading on constant fights costs ₹225 at the lowest rate on Kismo, where each astrologer sets one rate for chat and call from ₹15 a minute (October 2026). Your first session carries 5 free minutes, no card needed. After that you pay per started minute from your wallet, and what you do not use stays there.
When do fights become abuse, and who can I call in India?
Fights become abuse when there is hitting, pushing, threats, control of your phone or money, or constant humiliation. Then leaving safely matters more than any reading. In India, Women Helpline 181 answers 24 hours a day and refers women to police, hospitals and legal aid, and 112 is the single emergency number.
An astrologer says a puja will stop our fights. Should I pay for it?
Be careful. No puja can change how two people treat each other, and pressure to pay is a red flag. On Kismo, an astrologer who pressures you into paying for rituals or asks for money outside the app is reported as misconduct, and a person handles it. Get a second opinion before paying for any ritual.
Talk to an astrologer about should i break up
Kismo is an app where you talk to verified Vedic astrologers by chat or call, in 16 languages.
On an iPhone, log in on kismo.app in your browser.
Where do these facts come from?
- The timing of divorce: predicting when a couple will divorce over a 14-year period (Gottman and Levenson, Journal of Marriage and the Family 62, 2000), Berkeley Psychophysiology Laboratory, University of California, Berkeley. Accessed .
- Machine learning uncovers the most robust self-report predictors of relationship quality across 43 longitudinal couples studies (Joel et al., PNAS 2020), author preprint, Goldsmiths, University of London research repository. Accessed .
- India's commitment to women's safety (Ministry of Women and Child Development), 29 March 2025, Press Information Bureau, Government of India. Accessed .
- Brihat Parashara Hora Shastra, chapter 11 (judgement of houses), verse 7, Enjoy Learning Sanskrit. Accessed .
