I fell out of love with him: should I break up? Talk to an astrologer about what changed
When the feeling fades without a big fight, the hard part is telling a quiet phase from a real ending.
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We have been together five years and nothing is wrong exactly. I just don't feel what I used to. I feel guilty even saying it. Is it over?
You do not need to feel guilty for being honest. A fading feeling can be a phase or an ending, and the chart can help us look at which period you are in. Please share your birth details and tell me when you first noticed the change.
Short answer
Falling out of love does not always mean you should break up, because the early rush fades in most relationships while deeper love can stay. It can also be a real ending. An astrologer can read your Venus, Moon, 7th house and running dasha, and help you tell a phase from a pattern. On Kismo, verified astrologers help by chat or call, online from anywhere.
What are the key facts about should i break up?
| Answer | |
|---|---|
| The situation | No big fight, but the spark, interest or care you felt has faded |
| Other ways people say it | Falling out of love, the feeling is gone, I don't feel the same, pyaar khatam ho gaya |
| Can deep love last? | 13% of people in long relationships rated their romantic love at the very top of the scale 1 |
| What an astrologer checks | Venus, the Moon, your 7th house and lord, and your current dasha |
| What a reading cannot do | Bring the feeling back, or decide whether you stay |
| Session on Kismo | From ₹15 a minute, 5 free minutes in the first session, online from anywhere in India and abroad |
What does an astrologer check when you fall out of love?
- Venus, read by many astrologers for attraction and the pleasure you take in a partner, and whether it is weak or under strain.
- The Moon, for how settled or restless you feel, since a flat mood can make every relationship feel flat.
- Your 7th house and its lord, for your lasting pattern with partners, set apart from this one relationship.
- The running dasha and antardasha, since a change of period is often read as a change in what you want from life.
- His chart, if he shared his real details, to compare both Venus placements and both Moons.
What changes the answer when you have fallen out of love?
- Whether the love faded slowly or ended in one moment. A slow fade sometimes responds to change; a sudden clear moment of knowing often does not.
- Whether trust broke. Lost trust or hurt often sits under lost feeling, and needs its own conversation.
- Whether you are low in general. Stress, grief or low mood can dim every feeling, not only love, and may need a doctor or counsellor.
- Whether you have tried anything new together. The self-expansion model holds that shared new and challenging activities can renew romantic love 1.
Is it normal to fall out of love in a long relationship?
Falling out of the early, intense kind of love is normal, but research shows deep romantic love can last. In a study of 312 people in relationships averaging 8.8 years, 13% gave the highest possible answer to every romantic love question 1. Romantic love scores did not drop with the length of the relationship 1.
Where that romantic love remained, couples were happier. In the same data, romantic love without obsession was strongly linked with satisfaction (r = .52) 1. A meta-analysis of 25 studies in the same paper found this link in both short and long relationships 1.
Losing that feeling is a frequent reason couples part. In a California divorce mediation study cited by Gottman and Levenson, nearly 80% named growing apart, losing closeness, or not feeling loved and appreciated 2. In their own 14-year study, a lack of warmth predicted divorces that came later, at about 13.9 years 2.
| Finding | Number | Source |
|---|---|---|
| People in long relationships with top-score romantic love | 42 of 312 (13%) | 1 |
| Link between romantic love and satisfaction | r = .52 | 1 |
| Divorcing people citing growing apart or not feeling loved | Nearly 80% | 2 |
| Average years to a later divorce marked by low warmth | 13.9 | 2 |
| People interviewed in a study of falling out of love | 8, aged 27 to 74 | 3 |
People describe falling out of love in two ways. A 2013 interview study found either a gradual decline, or a pivotal moment of knowing the love was gone 3. Loss of trust, of intimacy and of feeling loved ran through every account 3.
Kismo is an app where you talk to verified Vedic astrologers by chat or call, in 16 languages. An astrologer there can read Venus, the Moon and your period, and help you see whether this looks like a phase. An astrologer cannot bring a feeling back or decide for you, and low mood that lasts weeks deserves a doctor or counsellor.
How do I know if I fell out of love or it is just a phase?
You can tell a phase from an ending by looking at what is missing and whether you want it back. These questions help, with or without a reading.
- Do you miss the closeness and wish it would return, or do you feel relief at the thought of being apart?
- Did the feeling fade slowly, or was there one clear moment when you knew?
- Is there hurt or broken trust under the distance that you have not talked about?
- Are you low in every part of life, or only in this relationship?
- Have you tried something new together in the last few months?
- If he changed nothing, would you still choose him a year from now?
What do people get wrong about this?
Belief: Romantic love always dies after the first few years.
In a study of 312 people in long relationships, romantic love scores were not linked to how long couples had been together, and 13% scored at the very top 1.
Belief: Couples split up mostly because of big fights.
In a divorce mediation study, nearly 80% named growing apart or not feeling loved, against 40% who named severe fighting 2.
Belief: The Four of Cups means the love is over.
In A. E. Waite's guide, the Four of Cups means weariness and satiety, and reversed it points to novelty and new relations 4. It describes a mood, not a verdict.
Before you pay anyone
How do you know an astrologer is genuine?
- Every Kismo astrologer passes four steps: qualification review, panel interview, live audits of real sessions, 30-day probation.
- Nobody can guarantee an outcome. Treat any promise of a fixed result as a red flag.
- Never pay for an expensive puja or ritual under pressure. Get a second opinion first.
- On Kismo you only pay for the minutes you use; misconduct, pressure or a request for money outside the app is handled by a person.
Which astrologers can I talk to about should i break up?
- Jyothsna Gosala
Tarot Reading, Life Coach · 1 yrs
English, Telugu, Hindi
★ 4.5 · 5,992 orders · ₹25/min
How does a consultation on Kismo work?
- Log in on kismo.app or get the app from Google Play.
- Pick an astrologer who speaks your language and works with your question.
- Share your date, time and place of birth.
- Ask by chat or call. The first session carries 5 free minutes, then each minute is billed from your wallet.
Questions worth asking in the session
- How do you read my Venus and Moon right now?
- Did a new dasha begin around when I started feeling different?
- Does my chart suggest this is a phase or a lasting change, as you read it?
- What could we try together before I decide?
- If I choose to end it, how can I do it kindly?
What should I know before booking a session about should i break up?
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| What does a session cost? | Each astrologer sets one rate for chat and call, from ₹15 a minute. A 10-minute session at ₹15 a minute costs ₹150 (October 2026). |
| Is the first session free? | 5 free minutes on the first session, no card. |
| Chat or call? | Both. You choose when you start the session. |
| Do I need an exact birth time? | It helps. Without one an astrologer can still read your Moon sign and planets by sign, or work out the time with you. |
| Is my chat private? | Your chat is not shown to other clients. How Kismo handles your data is set out in its privacy policy at kismo.app/privacy. |
| What if I am not happy? | There is no refund for a reading you did not like. Misconduct, pressure or a request for money outside Kismo is handled by a person. |
| Where does it work? | Online, from anywhere in India and abroad. People use Kismo from 80+ countries. |
What else do people ask an astrologer about?
How does Kismo compare with other apps?
Questions people ask
I fell out of love with my boyfriend. Should I break up?
Not straight away. First ask whether the love ended or the early excitement settled into something quieter. If you still care about him, miss the closeness and want it back, trying something new together is worth it. If you feel relief at the thought of leaving, that is important information. The decision is yours either way.
Can you fall back in love with someone after falling out of love?
Yes, many people do, especially when the love faded slowly through stress or routine rather than through a betrayal. Research on long relationships finds couples who keep romantic love are happier, and shared new activities are one route back, in the self-expansion model. When love ended in one clear moment of knowing, it tends to be harder to restore.
Which planet in astrology shows falling out of love?
No single planet shows falling out of love, but astrologers usually read Venus for attraction and the Moon for feeling. They also check the 7th house and its lord, and whether a new dasha began around the time the feeling changed. A change of period is often read as a change in what you want.
Is it a sign to break up if I feel nothing when he touches me?
It can be a sign that something important has changed, but not always a reason to break up. Stress, low mood, health problems or unspoken hurt can all dull physical closeness. If the feeling has been gone for months and you do not want it back, take that seriously. A doctor can help if low mood is part of it.
I don't love him anymore. Is it fair to stay with him?
Staying only out of guilt is usually unfair to both of you, but a quiet patch is not the same as no love. Be honest with yourself first, then with him. Many people try a few months of real effort before deciding. If the feeling does not return, ending it kindly can be the more respectful choice.
What would a reading on falling out of love cost on Kismo?
A 15-minute reading on falling out of love costs ₹225 at the lowest rate on Kismo, where each astrologer sets one rate for chat and call from ₹15 a minute (October 2026). Your first session carries 5 free minutes and needs no card. You pay per started minute, and unused wallet money stays for later.
An astrologer says a remedy can make me fall back in love. Is that true?
No one can promise that a remedy brings feelings back. Some traditions suggest simple, free practices such as prayer or charity, which some people find calming. Pressure to pay for an expensive ritual is a red flag. On Kismo, pressure or requests for money outside the app are handled by a person as misconduct, so get a second opinion first.
Talk to an astrologer about should i break up
Kismo is an app where you talk to verified Vedic astrologers by chat or call, in 16 languages.
On an iPhone, log in on kismo.app in your browser.
Where do these facts come from?
- Does a long-term relationship kill romantic love? (Acevedo and Aron, Review of General Psychology 13(1), 2009), American Psychological Association (copy hosted by Psychology Today). Accessed .
- The timing of divorce: predicting when a couple will divorce over a 14-year period (Gottman and Levenson, Journal of Marriage and the Family 62, 2000), Berkeley Psychophysiology Laboratory, University of California, Berkeley. Accessed .
- A phenomenological study of falling out of romantic love (Joanni L. Sailor, The Qualitative Report 18, article 37, 2013), ERIC, US Department of Education. Accessed .
- The Pictorial Key to the Tarot (A. E. Waite, 1911), part 3, the lesser arcana, Wikisource. Accessed .
